A Write-off

OK, so technically I'm a writer as I do get paid to write. However, if ever there was an ego that could be elevated to dizzying heights with one look and then blasted back to the gutter with a second, it's that of the writer who is often paid to write, well, how should I put this?.... crap.

I have on the odd occasion truthfully answered the most common just-met-you question at a dinner party question:

"So, what do you do?"

However, the shuffle forward of an Eames chair and the glowing, conspiratorial smile quickly make me realise my mistake. As my questioner draws closer I can just imagine the thoughts going through their head - how they're going to tell their friends that they sat next to an author at dinner on Saturday; how they'll drop my name into conversation - 'oh yes, I've met her you know...' They're even planning the outfit they'll wear when I invite them to my next book launch. And in those few seconds between question and answer, what's going through my head? 'How do you make cat litter web articles sound sexy?'

Oh yes, in the past couple of weeks I have indeed embraced the glamourous world of cat litter, as well as putting pen to paper on subjects as scintillating as SAD therapy lamps and dog insurance. At least JK Rowling got to sit in a cafe and drink tea when she penned her tomes.